Silhouette of Sorrow

Grieving for my husband Michael after his suicide allowed past life traumas of disappearance, heartbreak and death to resurface. The compounding effect of grief helped with my struggle to make sense of the loss of missing Michael. My journey sent me on a path to explore whether grief is the price you pay for love and if sorrow is the price you pay for loss of love. Etching my silhouette and embracing vulnerability helped my discovery of the myth of closure as a step in the experience of grief. Could vulnerability be empowering and did self-knowledge present opportunities for enrichment and growth for a changed individual - with sorrow as a life partner? My career choice of Corrections (adult prisons) revealed the importance of a sense of belonging through connections with others, and acceptance of imperfections, as stepping stones for recovery and renewal. Some insights about living with aloneness may resonate with others where loss has crept into their lives. A sense of belonging through friendship and close connections in a kind and caring community has been my way forward. Reaction to loss of love is an individual journey. Vulnerability can be a strength and an opportunity to seek support. The author's career choice provided humbling insights that connections with others can give purpose and meaning in our lives. Accepting sorrow as a life partner is a way to cherish memories of loss. Closure, as a step in the grief process, is a myth. Mandatory reporting is needed to prevent access to guns. My grief has softened into sorrow that lives in a pocket in my body.