Secrets of a Ballistic Cat

Ever wanted to find out what really goes on inside your cat's head?
Are you perplexed by the strange antics of felines?
Well, finally we can reveal all...
After a daring raid on the SSoSC (Secret Society of Superior Cats),
we have discovered this manual.
Who knows, it may just go some way to redress the balance of power in the cats vs humans struggle?
Do not let your cat read this.