How to Find Love When You're Weird

I am a perfectly functional adult.
So why is it so hard to get a date? When my father decided last year that I wouldn't receive my inheritance until I am in a stable relationship, I let the ever-important deadline slip through the cracks.
Why bother dating, when I can read, right? Wrong.
Now, I have less than two months to find love if I'm going to inherit my cottage home, and even with a stack of self-help books a mile high, things are not looking good. The only man who's graced me with more than five minutes of his attention is a giant tattooed bar owner.
Sure, he's the most beautiful man I've ever seen. And, sure, he keeps appearing in my life. And...sure...when we enter into a fake/practice dating collaboration, it seems an awful lot like the start of a rom-com, but there's no way our little stint turns into anything else.
I absolutely refuse to date anyone who drinks. He may be the gentlest grump now, but I know what alcohol does to people, and I am not looking for someone I think I can trust to hurt me again.
No matter what, follow point #1 on my outline: Do NOT fall in love.
How to Find Love When You're Weird is a grumpy/sunshine satirical romance with a neurodivergent lead on the road to self-acceptance. Each book in this series has sensual description that is ultimately closed door/fade to black, minimal cursing if any at all, and a swoon-worthy love story. Please reference the reader expectations after the title page for specific details.