Amy Maxwell & the 7 Deadly Sins

For those of you keeping score at home, it's been almost a year since I was kidnapped and held hostage. I thought my life was going to change, but it's more of the same. I'm cleaning up messes faster than a celebrity fixer, my kids are driving me to seriously contemplate the Witness Protection Program, and Roger is STILL sitting in his armchair, uselessly engrossed in a reality TV show marathon.
But since I'm a glutton for punishment, I've added even more stress to my life by going back to college to finally get the degree that eluded me twenty years ago. In criminal justice, of all things.
After countless years of Sunday school, I should know that Gluttony is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. Come to think of it, Wrath, Greed, Lust, Sloth, Envy, Pride, and Gluttony are why I'm in my current predicament-stuck in the trunk of my sister's lover's car... bound and gagged. If it were not for those seven deadly sins, I'd be busy burning a casserole at home instead of wondering if I'm about to die sandwiched between a tire jack and a set of jumper cables.