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Translation of: Ich trug den gelben Stern.

This daughter's profile of Czechoslovak swimmer and water polo player Kurt Epstein (1904-1975) traces the history of Jewish athletes in Central Europe and provides a case study of one such life-long athlete. Epstein grew up a stone's throw from the Elbe River and began swimming before the First World War, when his town of Roudnice nad Labem was still part of Austria-Hungary. In high school, he became a competitive rower and swimmer, challenging prevailing stereotypes about Jews and becoming a leading Czechoslovak water polo player and swimming coach, representing his country at two Olympic Games, in 1928 and 1936. In addition to describing the cultural background of the Epstein family in the Bohemian countryside, the book examines Kurt Epstein's decision to participate in the 1936 Berlin "Nazi" Olympics, and follows him through a series of Nazi concentration camps back to Prague, where he was elected member of the Czechoslovak National Olympic Committee. After the Communist putsch of 1948, Epstein vowed to flee "in a swimsuit if necessary" and, at 44, emigrated to New York City where he became a cutter in the garment district, swam weekly at the St. George pool in Brooklyn, and served as Treasurer of The Association of Czechoslovak Sportsmen in Exile in the Western World.

This intrepid memoir tracks sexual abuse in the life of a veteran American journalist. It also describes the long and successful psychotherapy the author undertook to heal. The Long Half-Lives of Love and Trauma "invents its own genre," wrote Sherry Turkle. "The author suspects sexual abuse in her childhood and investigates with the toolkits of an historian and ethnographer." The result is a memoir that is what Eva Hoffman calls, "a true labor of memory, in which the story of the body is inseparable from the narrative of the self."This memoir is the third of a non-fiction trilogy, following Helen Epstein's Children of the Holocaust: Conversations with Sons and Daughters of Survivors (Putnam, 1979) and Where She Came From: A Daughter's Search for Her Mother's History (Little, Brown, 1997), both widely translated. As Gloria Steinem wrote, "In Epstein's hands, truth becomes not only stranger than fiction but more magnetic.""Clear-eyed, fearless, taboo-breaking... This trilogy is unusual not only because nearly 40 years separate the first and last volumes - with the second positioned midway at the 20-year mark - but also because the works differ so greatly in style, structure, and content... The Long Half-Lives of Love and Trauma's major contribution is its willingness to talk openly and place forefront a personal trauma of sexual abuse in its post-Holocaust context... Helen Epstein has consistently rejected sanitizing Jewish history - including women's history... She has refused to keep secrets that she knew needed to be told and she has avoided idealization, nostalgia, and hagiography." - Irena Klepfisz, Tablet Magazine"Epstein takes the reader through her decades-long process of self-discovery, understanding and healing accomplished through a strong bond of friendship, a solid and supportive family, and the powerfully restorative effects of psychoanalysis... written with page-turning clarity, openness and complete honesty... This is a ground-breaking memoir in style and in its contribution to the issues of sexual abuse." - Berkshire Eagle"In this poignant, vividly written and fearlessly frank memoir, Helen Epstein probes, with sensitivity and insight, the multi-layered ambiguities of love, intimate relationships, and post-Holocaust American lives. More than a chronicle of events, this is a true labor of memory, in which the story of the body is inseparable from the narrative of the self." - Eva Hoffman, author of Lost in Translation"In midlife, well settled in marriage and motherhood, Epstein is impelled to revisit the legacy of her childhood. As she risks both her own sanity and the relationships she holds most dear, Epstein illustrates the complex moral and psychological effects of trauma, and the gritty process of recovery." - Judith Herman, M.D., author of Trauma and Recovery"This is heroic writing, and belongs in the canon of accounts of mothers and daughters, of wounds lost in the depth of childhood, and the valiant determination of a woman to live in uncertainty with grace." - Patricia Hampl, author of I Could Tell You Stories"In this riveting book, Helen Epstein probes the dark corners of her childhood with sensitivity and remarkable candor. This memoir reads like a detective story and asks questions that affect us all: how does our sexual nature get formed or deformed, and how can it change? Unflinching writing." - Anne Karpf, author of The War After: Living with the Holocaust"Courageously peeling back layers of her own psyche, Helen Epstein describes how one is able to withstand and survive trauma, and perhaps even more difficult to heal from it... Epstein offers a riveting cultural history of America in the late twentieth century." - Helen Fremont, author of After Long Silence

In a career that paralleled the emergence of the United States as an international power, Marshall was a participant in every significant event contributing to the nation's status as a superpower. From his first combat duty in the Philippines at the turn of the century, through both World Wars, into the cold war and the Korean conflict, Marshall was a key figure in devising and implementing US military strategies and foreign policies. Stoler emphasizes the years 1939-1951, when Marshall served as World War II army chief of staff, special presidential representative to China, secretary of state at the beginning of the cold war and Korean War secretary of defense.The book is unique in its merging of military and diplomatic history with biography. It includes a chronology and a bibliographic essay. "Drawing on more detailed works, supplemented by his sound judgments based on his own careful research, Stoler has successfully caught the spirit of the man and his work." - Forrest C. Pogue, official biographer of Marshall, former director of the George C. Marshall Foundation "Useful, fascinating and very informative... Stoler illuminates many historical debates and events..." - David Eisenhower, author of Eisenhower at War: 1943-1945 "A very readable book based on the most recent scholarship and presented in a way that students can understand." - Michael J. Hogan, Ohio State University "In a skillful work of compression and synthesis, Mark A. Stoler... sets himself an ambitious dual task: to render comprehensible the life of an individual almost no one knew well and to ground this life firmly in the context of the revolution in American foreign relations during the first half of the twentieth century. The enterprise succeeds admirably, partly because Marshall's career lends itself to such treatment and partly because Stoler demonstrates a flair for selecting the essential from the immaterial." - H. W. Brands, The American Historical Review "This is the best available one-volume biography of this distinguished man... Stoler demonstrates Marshall's intellectual growth as he came to understand international politics and the limits of power." - Daniel R. Beaver, The Historian "[A] richly researched and balanced assessment... Stoler's insights into Marshall are many and valuable. He perfectly captures his sterling integrity and the extent of his exemplary nonpartisanship... this is the best single-volume about a true hero." - Barry F. Machado, The Journal of Military History "[A]n excellent book... There have been short one-volume biographies of Marshall before, but this is the best of the lot... Among the strengths of Stoler's treatment are his careful exposition of the factors in Marshall's youth crucial to the formation of his character, the importance of his various experiences with the National Guard, the Plattsburg volunteers, and the Civilian Conservation Corps in conditioning his faith in citizen soldiers, and the formative role of his professional education at the Command and General Staff School at Fort Leavenworth and the Infantry School at Fort Benning." - I. B. Holley, Jr., The Journal of American History "[Stoler] is able to present the issues faced by the new chief of staff lucidly and with great insight... In sum, Professor Stoler, with style and verve, has produced an excellent summary volume on George C. Marshall and his times... the book [is] insightful, readable, provocative, and manageable. I highly recommend it." - Douglas Kinnard, Naval War College Review "[T]he book breaks through the general's deliberately cultivated stoic persona and demonstrates the humanity that made him so admired in public and private. Stoler's work stands as a model of its genre... Stoler captures the complexity of the man and his times in a book that is a pleasure to read." - Donald A. Ritchie, The Oral History Review