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  • - Put Your Spirit In Check
    av Willis G Major
    245,-

    I have read the Old Testament once and listened to the audio version once. I have read the New Testament twice and have listened to the audio version over 3 times. I read the Holy Koran once as well as the Torah once. I am a God fearing Christian man. I have been close to God all my life and have tried to stay on that narrow path of righteousness as much as I could. I have been dedicated to trying to do what is right in the eyes of the Lord from day to day. I love God with all of my heart, body and soul and I try to love my neighbor as myself but we all know some neighbors make it hard on us to do so, but we still must try. I'm not a theologian, a minister, a pastor or a bishop but I do consider myself a man of God who is not perfect but trying to figure out life and stay focused on following the will of God. God has blessed me with some wisdom to understand some of His will, so I interpret a variety of issues and topics that I hope you will enjoy reading and will bring you closer to God. Thank you God for all of your blessings.

  • - The Universal Constant
     
    241,-

    The sky ripped open. Planets began to crumble and disappear. All those people... The World Eaters have returned. Matter in their dimension has become unstable, and they've come here to fix it by taking some of ours. Blackie, Wayne, Amelia, and Joules used the Jump Starter to get the Nomad off Arton's while it was being attacked. Mark and Nita stayed on-board, hoping they would escape and reach Centoria. Now they wonder where the Jump Starter has taken the Nomad and their friends. While every planet in the Sote-kiliet is under siege by the World Eaters, a sworn enemy of the Korganraim Giants arrives in battle formation. Sabotage and treachery have brought them to the brink of annihilation. Now they must make a decision. Who do they fight and who is first?Mark and Nita have no idea their friends were transported to a section of the universe on the brink of war. One bad jump and the Nomad could be sucked through the rift. If it is, Blackie, Wayne, Amelia, and Joules are gone forever. Alpha-class gunships are ready to annihilate the World Eaters and save the Sote-kiliet. But what seems like to right thing to do could doom the universe. Invaders, enemies, and friends are caught up in circumstances that could destroy multiple dimensions.

  • - Galaxy Delivery
    av Tony Cooper
    173,-

    "Hello! Need a 'sensitive' item delivered 'discreetly' anywhere in the colonised galaxies? Then 'Higgs & Soap: Galaxy Delivery' are waiting for your encrypted call. We operate in the strictest confidence for your peace of mind*!" (*yes we do illegal stuff)It was supposed to be a simple, straightforward job: transport a data card from one solar system to another and get paid. But it turns out that the data on the card makes it the most valuable item in the galaxy. With highly trained killers and thieves after it, the only people standing in their way are Higgs and Soap, and they really, really don't want to die.Join Higgs (independent entrepreneur) and Soap (ace pilot and engineer) as they tear across the galaxy pursued by cyborgs and genetically modified thugs. All they want is to get paid! And to not die. They're quite insistent about that part."Higgs & Soap - we take anything, anywhere!"

  • av Alisa Greene
    146,-

    Poetry by Jason O'Neal Williams and Alisa Greene

  •  
    241,-

    Yksilöity satukirja IRINA-nimisille tytöille! Tyttö herää, eikä muista nimeään. Hikka-Hiiri osaa ratkaista pulman. Hän vie tytön taikabussillaan jännittävälle seikkailulle. Seikkailun määrää lapsen oma nimi! Tyttö, joka unohti nimensä - Taianomainen yksilöity satukirja Kirjasiskot Oy: ltä

  • - An Adoptee's Search for Answers
    av Brenda Mayeux Miranda
    112,-

    Secrets, sacrifice, lies, love, abandonment, acceptance, grief, joy, regret, jubilation, and fortitude are nestled within the pages of A Twenty-Year Journey. Join me as I share the twists and turns of my pilgrimage with you. Incredibly my circle of existence is quite small, yet the cast of characters grows daily. South Louisiana boasts of delicious seafood, unique music, and the famous Cajun culture. However, beyond that you'll find the people strong, kind-hearted, and loyal. It's a place I'm proud to call home.Family is of paramount importance to most of us and researching your past is not for the faint-hearted. You'll likely find unexpected information that you will be left to digest emotionally. Once a stone is overturned, there is no going back. Be prepared for some family secrets to surface as well as hitting brick walls which trigger unanswerable questions. Journeys such as mine will impact innocent people and you must brace yourself for their various, sometimes unpredictable reactions. Whether you're looking for your biological family, researching your genealogy, or simply curious about your origin and ethnicity, my hope is that you'll find inspiration and research methods that can assist you. I hope yours is a wonderful spiritual journey, as was mine. Remember, 'DNA Doesn't Lie' !

  • av T W Piperbrook
    146,-

    New series from the best-selling author of the Contamination series! #1 Hot New Release in Werewolf Suspense June 2014! When newlyweds Abby and Rob awaken, the power is out, the neighborhood is covered in snow, and the house is freezing. They'll soon find out that the storm is the least of their worries. Somewhere outside, something else is lurking. Waiting for the chance to strike... OUTAGE 2: THE AWAKENING AVAILABLE NOW!

  • - A collection of more than 100 favorite campfire skits
    av Thomas Mercaldo
    146,-

    The Scout Skit book is a collection of more than 100 campfire skits featuring traditional favorites along with new skits. This book provides hours of humorous entertainment and comedic material through skits, plays, and even jokes. This book is perfect for any scouting event or even campfire and is a sure fire way to add excitement into any activity.

  • av David Kidger
    159,-

    This volume contains the four symphonies (Wq 183) by C.P.E. Bach for two horns, two flutes, two oboes, bassoon, and strings. They were written in 1775-76 and first published in 1780.

  • av Kimberly Reese
    197,-

    nerdgasm (noun): an emotional climax at the peak of intense (sometimes sexual) excitement, characterized by a deep attraction to nerdy things and/or people. My stutter makes it easy to become the center of attention for all the wrong reasons, so I try hard to stay out of the spotlight.But when Addison Mitchell breezes into the class I TA for, she turns my world upside down, shaking me out of my comfort zone.Confident and bold, her wandering hands set my body on fire.She sees the real me, and she's still interested.I'm completely out of my element, yet I've never felt more alive.Fingers crossed we're not a one-off fling.I have a lot to learn, but I'm willing to make this work.I'm going to give her more than a nerdgasm.I'm going to give her my heart.

  • av Rick Kennett
    148,-

    As a child on Phobos: She sits watching, thinking it is another six year old, but can't decide if it's a boy or girl. The skin on the blotchy-red face is stretched and shiny. The eyes are lost in deep sockets, the mouth is toothy in a perpetual grin and the nostrils on the hooked nose open and close, as if sniffing for her.As a cadet on Mars: Hitting the general frequency, Cy yelled words she thought she'd never hear herself say: "Guard Point South! Intruder alert! Intruder alert!"As a gunnery officer in space: Peters glanced at De Gerch. She didn't seem to be listening to Scanner Room at all, and her breathing came shallow and rapid in his earphones. Captain Brown, watching his weapons repeater, saw the cross-hairs leave the target, go hunting across the screen. Frowning, he leaned forward, cold with doubt.As captain of a starship: "Mr Peters ..." Captain Cy De Gerch hesitated an instant, then said what she'd always wanted to say: "Engage! Engage! Engage!"As a free wheeling teenager, genetically engineered to meld with a starship's weaponry system: Antigone Pitra flinched with offence and shock."You're insane!""Oh, I hope so," said Cy. "I hope I'm utterly certifiable."

  • av Eunice Hargett
    150,-

    Reese Harris had been living the dream. She had just gotten tenure at Warford University, just bought her dream home in Fort Lauderdale, Florida with her partner of almost five years, and was two weeks away from attending the party of all parties to celebrate those five years. There was no reason to suspect that her happiness would soon be destroyed.When her partner Angela decides she's not happy and splits, Reese is left to pick up the pieces of her personal life without losing her professional one. Selena Castle enters Reese's life like a breath of fresh air, new, exciting, full of possibilities. She also brings with her complications. Aside from being a former student, Selena is 21. When this innocent meeting turns into more, Reese Harris begins a journey that often feels crazy, often feels impossible, but must be taken.21 Days to Crazy: "Sometimes you have to go back, before you can move on."

  • av Martin Otto
    103,-

    If you think that this book is a repackaging of traditional approaches to prayer, you are in for a surprise. In fact, you may even find some of the contents controversial. Each secret is an insight that the author has discovered and tested, one at a time, over several decades, after trying the stock-in-trade teachings of traditional religion. There is nothing here about praise or repentance, but there is a chapter on thanksgiving and plenty of references to unconditional love and forgiveness. It is about a God who is much more fun, much more loving, much less judgmental than you may think. It is about a life that is much easier and less complicated. And, most of all, it is about prayers that are answered.

  • - Captured by Aliens!, Into the Dungeon!, & Yucky Boogers!
    av Dennis E McGowan
    108,-

    The excitement continues in this fun-filled collection of Jolly Time Books! This exclusive collection includes these stories: - Captured by Aliens!Mr. Jolly is missing! Lizzy wonders why. What could have happened? Have aliens captured him? Will he ever return home safely? - Into the Dungeon!Mrs. Jolly takes Lizzy and Ben into the dungeon! It's dark and scary down there. But there may be hope. Does Mr. Jolly have a plan for their escape? - Yucky Boogers!What is Ben watching that is long and skinny? And icky. And crawling around in the back yard. Look out, Ben! Why does he shout "Yucky boogers?" The Jolly family is just like yours, hanging on for the ride! Jolly Time Books are full of everyday experiences and written with humor that will spark your imagination. C'mon! Join Lizzy and Ben for a Jolly Time! This is a funny and entertaining collection of stories for children ages 6 and up.

  • - A Scottish Time Travel Romance
    av Hazel Hunter
    248,-

    A woman from the present day will do anything to escape the ordeal of medieval Scotland. But will she betray the man she loves?Lily Stover can no longer cope. Nothing in her previous life as a chef could have prepared her for her grim new reality. Starvation, beatings, and daily terror are her routines. The only flicker of hope is the memory of the massive warrior who once fought to free her. She can still see his golden eyes glaring into hers.War Master Cadeyrn can no longer sleep. His dreams are haunted by the lovely lass whose face silently pleads to him for help. His patrols range further and further, driven by that vision. But when he finally finds her stumbling through the forest, he embraces a future that is not what it seems.

  • - La Naturaleza humana puede ser la mas oscura de las naturalezas.
    av Jota de Hoces
    294,-

    El término asesino en serie se define por el acto de dos o más asesinatos separados, actuando solo o con otro, durante un período de tiempo con descansos entre cada asesinato, o lo que se conoce como un período de enfriamiento. Son una raza única de individuos que hacen esfuerzos especiales para eludir la detección de la aplicación de la ley.No se sabe exactamente cuántos están actuando en un momento dado en los EE. UU, y me centro en esta nación por ser la que ha popularizado este término. El FBI ha dado un cálculo aproximado de 200 asesinos en serie itinerantes en los Estados Unidos al mismo tiempo, pero según Joel Norris, autor de Serial Killers, sugiere que hay entre tres y cuatro veces más. Norris también explica algunas teorías psicobiológicas que podrían contribuir a la complejidad de un asesino en serie.Puede ser imposible categorizar y comprender completamente cualquier asesino en serie, pero es posible revisar sus métodos y prácticas para definir mejor qué tipo de delincuentes son. El Buró Federal de Investigaciones ha definido tres tipos distintos de asesinos en serie basados en la forma en que llevan a cabo sus asesinatos. Comprender en qué categoría cae un asesino en serie puede facilitar la investigación de sus crímenes y cómo llevarlos ante la justicia.Esta obra aborda el estudio biográfico de 20 perfiles de Asesinos en serie. En común tienen el haber causado mas de 5 muertes. Están clasificados según su alias, su crueldad, sus métodos y sus motivaciones.Este libro no es un análisis complejo con cientos de datos, notas y referencias, es una descripción de acontecimientos con el único ánimo de entretener. Un repaso a la parte mas morbosa de la locura criminal de los peores multicidas.

  • av Marco De Boni
    146,-

    A new urtext edition of C.P.E. Bach's Sonata for flute solo in a minor. Complete with critical commentary, this edition clearly shows the problematic areas of the text and includes images of the manuscript to illustrate the musicological issues.

  • - 76 poemas. 66 poemas de reflexión, profundización y motivación y 10 poemas a la vida, a la naturaleza, y a la mujer y madre
    av Vulfrano Dominguez
    227,-

    Horizonte proporciona una estupenda y romántica forma de reflexionar sobre la vida y un nuevo concepto de motivación para los momentos difíciles. Horizonte puede ayudarte a expandir tu visión e impulsarte a la lucha y la consecución de lo que tanto has soñado. Este poemario no solo tiene la intención de motivarte, sino también de ayudarte a descubrir y fomentar el amor que subyace en tu interior, con el fin de que puedas experimentar una vida más plena y consciente de las cosas bellas que te rodean. Contágiate del optimismo de los poetas, aprende a inspirarte y a tomar ventajas de las adversidades. Sumérgete en este mundo mágico de poemas reflexivos, profundos y plenos de motivación.

  • - Best puzzles for you
    av Andrii Pitenko
    137,-

    250 good puzzles at the level of gold. All riddles have only 1 solution. 2 puzzles per page. Enough space for your thoughts and decisions. Very convenient and practical. Good brain support in shape. Expands creative thinking. Wide inner edges allow recording of solution options. Ideal gift for all fans of puzzles.Sudoku 8x8, separated by smaller rectangles of 4x2 cells. It is necessary to fill empty cells with numbers from 1 to 8, each of the digits should appear only once in each line of the 8x8 square, 8x8 column and 4x2 rectangle. The sum of all the numbers in the cage must correspond to the number printed in the corner. No matter what figure of the playing field we take in all the cells around it (horizontally, vertically or diagonally), there should not be such a figure. This means that for any randomly taken 3x3 square, the central figure of this square occurs only once in it.Excellent purchase for fans of Sudoku.A great book for relaxing in your spare time. There are 148 pages. The format is 6 '' x 9 ''. I hope you enjoy my book. I would also be very grateful if you could write a review.Thank you.Best regards, Andrii Pitenk

  • av Shauna Ward
    222

    His heart beats for the music. She's his favorite song. Lyric Cassidy knows a thing or two about bad boy rock stars with raspy vocals. In fact, her heart was just played by one. So when she takes an assignment as road manager for the world famous rock star, Wolf, she's prepared to take him on, full suit of heart-armor intact. Wolf is the sexy lead singer for the hottest rock band around with a line-up of guaranteed one night stands. Lyric Cassidy isn't one of them. That's fine with him. Women like Lyric come with fairytale expectations, so it should be easy to stay away. Too bad she's hot as sin with a fiery temper and a mouth that drives him wild. She's also got something to hide. Something he discovers. Something he wants ... Sharing a tour bus, neither of them are prepared for the miles of road ahead and the fierce attraction they feel toward one another--a dangerous combination.

  • av Barbara Appleby
    201

    You have this idea for a book. It could be a best seller. But how do you get it down on paper and organized. Yes I know you have it on napkins, the back of the grocery bill and down the side of your to do list. But that's not going to work is it? Now go gather them together and let's make sense of this shall we. Ok, have you got them.? Let's get out the stick notes and pens. One idea on each sticky note. Then put them on the Sticky Notes of Ideas pages. Now on to the Act pages. You know, what happens in what order. After that the Chapters pages and fill it in some more. Wow! Looks like you have an outline! You can do this you know. You can take this book with you and write on your Idea for your book everywhere you go. Everything in one place. I know you will love it. I do! There is 40 Chapter pages and 20 Character pages to fill in for your idea.

  • - Narraciones de misterio, terror y ficción
    av Homero Cerecedo
    208,-

    Colección de cuentos de misterio, ficción y terror que narran historias independientes entre sí, además de que en conjunto van describiendo de alguna manera a este personaje denominado como "El loco".

  • - Georgia in My Pocket
    av Hubert Clark Crowell
    996,-

    This is a collection of my Poems. Each group of about twenty eight poems with pictures were originally published in Chapbooks, small books of up to about forty pages, and sold by Chapman who carried them around the country, selling from door to door. I first started playing around with poems in March of 2010, while sitting on the porch overlooking the Coosawattee River in north Georgia. In fact my first poem was titled Coosawattee. It became a kind of challenge to write about things in poems, like caving, vacations and other things around Georgia and the Gulf coast. My wife Kathy gave me a birthday gift of a poetry course in August, 2010 and I have been writing ever since. After Ten Chapbooks, I thought that it would be nice to place the collection into one larger book, and use the cover images as the chapter titles. I hope that you enjoy reading, Poetry for the Adventuresome as much as I enjoyed writing it.

  • av Hercules Editing
    190,-

    Bryant: Smith Brothers fight club has trained some of the world's leading MMA fighters, but when the club's reputation is threatened owner Bryant Smith turns to sexy private detective Parker Wilson to uncover the truth. Ace: Ace Sparks has spent his life trying to make a name for himself in the world of MMA, but when he comes to the aid of a friend he learns the most important fights are fought outside the ring. Walt: When Walt returns home from war a changed man he must convince the woman he loves that he's worth a second chance. Paul: For the past four years Paul has been haunted by the death of his wife, but when he has his own brush with death he'll discover his life is indeed worth fighting for.

  • - "Think Like a Dog" Here's Exactly How to Train Your Cockapoo
    av Paul Allen Pearce
    164,-

    Take the fast and easy path to Cockapoo dog training that helps you form a loving bond that lasts a lifetime. This is your complete guide for training and understanding Cockapoos. From respected dog training author Paul Allen Pearce whose techniques have successfully trained millions of dogs worldwide. You can immediately apply what you learn to quickly attain noticeable results. All that is needed is a little gumption to follow the instructions contained inside, and soon you and your pal will be frolicking and enjoying the inimitable bond between dog and owner. Whether a puppy or an adult Cockapoo, you can shape, teach or change any behavior by using the methods contained inside this training guide. START TODAY by ordering this Cockapoo training guide right now and avoid your Cockapoo being an untrained, uncontrollable canine, and instead have a top-notch, well-behaved respected canine citizen that is welcome anywhere. Cockapoos are intelligent dogs, and can learn simple tasks quickly. This is true when you do the right things in the way that Cockapoos completely understand. What's the right way to train your Cockapoo?It's named Dogmanship, and part of it is the ability to communicate with your dog the way dogs naturally communicate with each other using body language. A language your puppy already instinctively understands, rather than trying to teach your dog how to speak human. Arf! This will save you time and a lot of frustration by enabling you to rapidly establish the leadership position, attain behavioral correction the same way professional trainers do, and teach your dog to quickly learn and obey commands. Special InsideFind out what every Cockapoo dog owner must learn first! Before you "just starting training". Simple, Fast and Effective Easy-to-follow training for your puppy or dog, just open it up, read the clear step-by-step training techniques and immediately begin training your Cockapoo Puppy today. Learn How to Train Your Cockapoo - Socialization - the key component for a top-notch canine citizen- Clicker and reward-based training techniques - how to master and effectively use them- House training - Crate training - Leash training, including "Heel"- All commands Cockapoo puppies should learn. E.g. sit, stay, come, down, drop it, leave it, etc.- Behavioral correction - how to stop barking, digging, jumping and nipping- Understanding canine body language - "Think Like a Dog"- How and when to use treats and reward - Nutrition for your puppy - Basic caring and grooming of your Cockapoo for a long, happy life together Scroll Up to Order Now and start training your dog for a brighter future together. Paul Allen PearceDog Trainer and Author

  • - A Six Book Series
     
    237,-

    Remember when you were having the best day ever and, in a flash, it turned into the worse one?Coming from the pub with your brothers, having a laugh, you see seven stunning women standing in the road. One starts dancing with you. Her sexy red fingernails turn to talons and she shreds your back.No? Maybe stuff like that just happens to me and my brothers... and a few other guys in the Scottish Highlands.Ian's right. I'm Sorcha, the one he danced with. My sisters and I are vampiric-fey. We were hunting men. But we only went after the McDuff brothers, a god, a bagpiper, an IT guy, and a steampunk musician. That's it.We decided to forget about drinking their blood and try loving them instead. But even with all the sizzling passion Ian and I and my sisters and their lovers have for each other... they're obstacles to forbidden love.Two big ones are: The war goddess Morrigan. You do not want to make her mad.And the Valkyries. Those you-know-what's are bananas covered in nuts.To find out if my sisters and I conquer them all and end up with the men we love, hit the Buy Now button above and come dance with the vampires.This is the complete six-book novella series of Dancing Vampires: Dance of the Vampires, Vampire Highland Fling, A Bonnie Vampire Dancer, Vampire Waltz, Valkyrie Vampire Sword Dancing, and Some Vampires Shimmy.

  • av Stephan Weaver
    173,-

    The Burren, the Ring of Kerry, the Giant's Causeway, the Cliffs of Moher-green Ireland is indeed a tower of intrigue. The nation is home to most of the world's enchanting sites and behind the generous bounties of nature lies a history that is all the more enchanting. Inside you will learn about...- The Black Death- Viking Ireland- St Patrick- The Irish Rebellion- The Nine Years War- Bloody SundayAnd much more! Prehistoric to modern, this eBook chronicles every prominent event that led to the sculpting of today's Ireland. The Viking invasion, the arrival of the Black Death, the Irish confederate wars, the Irish civil war, Bloody Sunday and many more are discussed.Giving a crisp yet adequate account of 50 historic events of Ireland, the eBook provides you a lofty insight into the making of this rich nation.

  • - The Local Guide to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam
    av Elly Thuy Nguyen
    284,-

    Experience real Saigon: My Saigon 2024Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City) offers bustling streets, amazing walks, too-hip-for-you cafes, rocking music clubs, luxurious salons, explosively delicious restaurants, and indoor cat zoos. Saigon is Vietnam. It's young, practical, crowded, and a little bit brash.Most visitors to Saigon see the same boring "attractions" ripoff markets, tourist-trap restaurants, and pointless tunnels.Saigon has so much more to experience than tourists see.My Saigon gives you the insider track: the most amazing experiences, the cultural backstories, the practical go-to tips, the best coffee, the best food (far beyond pho and banh mi), the best hangouts, the coolest stuff, and hipsters, hipsters everywhere.Details about 90-day and multi-entry electronic visas to Vietnam (new as of August, 2023).Big-picture navigation.History your tour guides aren't allowed to mention.Good hotels for cheap, without hostels, bedbugs, and weird smells.Get mobile data up and running without being scammed.The best pho in Saigon: no, it's not the one the tourists go to.Awesome, authentic, cheap restaurants where my friends and I eat -- and Tripadvisor has no clue about.Coffee. Did someone say coffee? 1930s coffee, street coffee, "specialty" coffee, all kinds of coffee: I'll tell you where.Hang out with Vietnamese people on our dating street, see indie concerts, munch on dried squid, listen to Viet Pop (if you dare).Make cool friends, date guys or girls, whichever flag you fly.Bust out with Saigonese slang to make your new friends laugh.Watch out for Saigon's mafia: they run the streets, and they don't announce themselves.Don't unintentionally offend people by wearing a popular tourist souvenir t-shirt.You definitely shouldn't give money to beggars and street kids.Avoiding taxi scams in Saigon is so easy, but most tourists refuse to learn.My Saigon is a guide, a love confessional, an instruction manual, and an ode to the city.

  • - Puzzles From 150 to 760 Dots
     
    137,-

    Relax and delve into a world of dot-to-dots made just for you! This adult dot-to-dot book of large print, relaxing amazing dog images will put your mind at ease as you let your cares slip away and enjoy connecting a simple numbers of dots! The puzzles in this book include a wide variety of beautiful landscape and outdoor images. Our professional artists will leave you with breathtaking finished images that you can color, tear out and hang up if you like. You'll be blown away by the drawings and can try to figure each one out as they gradually appear in front of your eyes. There is an answer key at the end in case you get stuck! Each image is printed on high-quality paper and every drawing is followed by a blank sheet of paper so you never have to worry about tearing individual images out of the book. You will get: Puzzles ranging up to 433 dots A wide variety of large print, easy to read amazing, adorable dog images Skip around and start with easier images to ease into the challenge Relaxation and stress relief Professionally created images that will amaze you when completed! Bonus images from other dot-to-dot books in our series! Answer key at the end Enjoy the puzzles and let your stress melt away!

  • - The Ultimate Really Really Bad Dad Joke Book!
    av Gary Rowley
    132,-

    You've seen the rest, now meet the best: The Daddy, the ultimate in bad Dad joke books!Packed with 100s of terrible gags and truly awful puns, The Daddy comes with its own dedication page, enabling you to pen an extra special message for that extra special person in your life - your Dad!Go on, I dare you: treat the old man to a copy, then skedaddle to a dark room somewhere while he works his magic, teasing and tormenting as only a Dad can. As it says on the guarantee, he'll love it - you'll hate it! No wonder with jokes like these: I've started work as a waiter. Granted, the money's not fantastic; but at least I can put food on the table...My fear of horse chestnut trees. After years of therapy, I've finally managed to conker it.I took my PC back to the shop when it wouldn't stop swearing at me. I said, I think it might be the curser...So I said, doctor, doctor, every time I go for a number two, it comes out looking like chips. He said, have you tried pulling that string vest up a bit?I asked this bloke what his American Pit Bull puppies were going for. He said, anything they can get their teeth into...Delivery driver walks into the medical centre and slams a dozen pizzas on the counter. He says, before anyone asks, it's just what the doctor ordered.This bloke emptied a packet of grated cheese over my head. I said, that was mature, wasn't it...?I rang the gaffer. I said, I'm just arriving on the south coast now, boss. He said, do you realise it's five in the morning? And what are you doing on the south coast? I said, just what you said, boss: making sure I was in Brighton early.I said, I can't believe how much weight I've put on. I might have one of those over active, erm, erm...She said, thyroid gland? I said, no, knife and fork!My pet mouse, Elvis...he was caught in a trap.

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