Bøker av Melinda Duchamp

MORE THAN GOOD CHEER WILL BE SPREAD... When Alice started a consulting business using kinky sex in corporate teambuilding, she never expected her first client to be... Santa Claus! Santa's three very hot (and sexually deviant) vice presidents cannot agree on how to manage Santa's Workshop and production has ceased. Can Alice use her special set of carnal skills to save Christmas? Or will all of her outrageous, filthy, explicit boinking give the Jolly Old Elf a heart attack? KINKY SECRETS OF ALICE'S CHRISTMAS SPECIAL by Melinda DuChampSanta Claus is coming... WHAT READERS ARE SAYING: "This is how I like my smut; raunchy, funny, and with heart!" - A reader who likes smut that is raunchy, funny, and with heart "I didn't know this book was so kinky." - A woman who didn't read the title "Are these the comments for that new superhero movie?" - A very confused man "I felt dirty and ashamed after reading this. Especially the third time." - A dirty and ashamed reader "I bet Melinda DuChamp is writing these quotes herself." - Melinda DuChamp "Melinda DuChamp for President!" - A reader who doesn't know Melinda DuChamp is the pen name for Ann Voss Peterson and Joe Konrath "I smell burnt toast." - A reader having a stroke "OH YES!" - A reader having a different kind of stroke "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "Emerson sucks." - Henry David Thoreau So what are you waiting for? You must read this book right now!

BOOK THREE OF THE HUGE SERIES THAT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE READ IN ORDER! Twenty-three year-old Alice is stuck in a ho-hum marriage, bored with quickie vanilla sex. So she and her husband, Lewis, sign a contract with the notorious Hellfire Club in order to inject some spice into their love life. But things get dicey when Alice's most decadent fantasies are brought to life, and she begins to fear that they'll never be allowed to leave. The third short novel in the Kinky Secrets of Alice series, this descent into naughtiness features the same colorful characters, kinky thrills, and offbeat humor as the previous bestselling titles. KINKY SECRETS OF ALICE AT THE HELLFIRE CLUB by Melinda DuChampIt's way beyond your wildest fantasies... This is erotica for smart people who like to laugh, just like you. WHAT READERS ARE SAYING: "DuChamp writes really funny, exciting books, which also have really kinky, over-the-top love scenes. Highly recommended! But don't use my name!" - Anonymous because she's afraid her mother will see this "Even hotter than the first two books. If you hear a sizzling sound, it's your Kindle." - A reader who needs to check her Kindle warranty "Did Lewis Carroll write a book about the Hellfire Club? I'm confused." - A confused reader "This is smut! I felt ashamed reading it! In fact, I felt even more ashamed the second and third times I read it!" - A reader in denial "For a funny series, there is some serious smut. I like it." - A smut monger "This book is H-O-T." - A reader who likes to spell "So much fun it should be illegal. Is it illegal?" - A woman suddenly concerned she'll be arrested "If you try any of the outrageous sex acts in this book, you'll wind up in the ER." - The patient in Bed 73 at Holy Mercy Hospital "I love this author!" - The author's spouse "If you read one book this year, you aren't reading enough." - She's right "I'm not sure these quotes are real." - No kidding "This isn't vanilla. This is an ebook. You should know the difference." - A reader who doesn't conflate flavors with literature So what are you waiting for? Read this book right now!

KINKY SECRETS OF ALICE IN WONDERLAND WAS JUST THE BEGINNING... Eighteen-year-old Alice recently had an unprecedented erotic experience. But her adventures have only just begun to heat up. NOW SHE MUST TRAVEL THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS... After breaking up with her boyfriend, Lewis, Alice enters a strange fantasy world where every pleasure-no matter how kinky-is indulged. INTO TOTAL ECSTASY!!! WITH THREE EXCLAMATION POINTS!!! Alice is subjected to amorous escapades beyond her wildest dreams and taken to the very limit of sexual endurance. During her carnal encounters with all manner of men and women, she is teased to tears by a bondage master, thoroughly used in a three way, enlightened to the sensual joys of a female touch, taken to a sex shop to test different erotic toys, given several very special piercings, and is dragged to the Hall of Denied Orgasms where she must fight the furious Jabbercocky to save all of Looking Glass Land. And you know what we mean by "fight"... This is for those with dark desires, who wish to explore erotic excess beyond the plain vanilla of everyday life. KINKY SECRETS OF ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS by Melinda DuChampFollow Alice through the looking glass, if you dare... It's erotica for smart people who like to laugh... just like you. WHAT READERS ARE SAYING: "I laughed out loud, then reached for my sleeping husband." - Anonymous "I was sleeping, and then, WHAM!" - Anonymous's husband "DuChamp is very funny and very hot, often on the same page." - A Different Anonymous "Longer, spicier, funnier, and better than the original." - Jane Doe "During the love scenes, my Kindle got so hot it melted to my lap. Now I'm going to sue." - Jane Doe's friend "You don't have to read the first one to enjoy this one. They both stand alone just fine. I don't like it when series books don't stand alone." - A woman who doesn't like it when series books don't stand alone "I gave this to my boyfriend so he could learn something about a woman's needs, and now he can't take his hands (among other things) off me! Thanks Ms. DuChamp!" - A lucky lady "OMG! Now I'm having dirty thoughts about Humpty Dumpty! I'll never look at eggs the same way again!" - Jane Doe II "I think the author is making these quotes up." - A woman who asked not to be named "Does Lewis Carroll know about this? Isn't he upset?" - A man who doesn't know Lewis Carroll Died in 1898 "Columbus is the capital of Ohio." - A smarty pants "Do people even read book descriptions this far?" - A concerned fan So what are you waiting for? Read this book right now!

BEYOND FIFTY SHADES OF GREY... Eighteen-year-old Alice is unhappy. Her boyfriend is nice and polite, but he's also quick and careless in bed, and doesn't give Alice the attention and variety she craves. But he's not entirely to blame, because Alice herself doesn't understand her own needs. She's heard about what sex is supposed to be like but has never felt anything remotely close to what she's read about in bestselling books. BEYOND 9 1/2 WEEKS... Then Alice follows a vibrating white rabbit down a deep, dark hole, which leads to a place beyond her wildest imagination. There are no nice boys--or girls--down here. Only those who indulge in secret, forbidden, kinky fantasies. BEYOND PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES... Alice is confused and frightened and... aroused. She is bound. Teased. Spanked. Toyed. Brought to the limits of sexual endurance. And during her trials, she begins to understand her body's needs for the very first time. BEYOND THUNDERDOME... This isn't the fairy tale you grew up reading. This isn't for children at all. This is for those with dark desires, who wish to explore erotic excess beyond the plain vanilla of everyday life. KINKY SECRETS OF ALICE IN WONDERLAND by Melinda DuChampFollow Alice down the rabbit hole, if you dare... It's smart erotica for people who like to laugh... just like you. WHAT READERS ARE SAYING: "This is the funniest adult novel I've ever read!" - Anonymous "A surprisingly intelligent, well-written parody, and also very hot." - A Different Anonymous "Sexy as hell. This is really going to turn you on." - A turned-on woman who asked not to be named "Wow! If you were disappointed in other books that claim to be titillating, here's the cure. You won't be able to put it down." - Jane Doe "I love my Kindle, because no one around me knows what's on it. Reading this ebook feels like I'm doing something wicked and daring." - Jane Doe's BFF "You'll bookmark the whole thing. Trust me." - A satisfied reader "My wife really benefited from me reading this." - A friend of the author "Melinda DuChamp is my favorite author, because she came over and painted my house. Also, her book is pretty good." - The author's cousin "I read it and returned it because I'm thrifty, but now I wish I'd kept it because there are some scenes I want to revisit." - A cheapskate "Comic erotica! They should invent a new category called comerotica or erotomic. On second thought, that's pretty stupid." - A man with too much time on his hands "My new safeword is DuChamp!" - An enlightened fan "I read it in one sitting, then had to go to the Emergency Room for a priapism." - A man about to sue the author "Strawberry is my favorite flavor." - A woman who likes strawberry "I also like chocolate." - The same woman What are you waiting for? Read this book immediately!

IT'S ALL ABOUT SIX IN THE CITY... Candy is all set to become the CEO of her family's billion-dollar company... but first, her grandfather demands she be married by her thirtieth birthday. Candy can accept that archaic, sexist demand, but her cheating fiancé just left her, and time's almost up. Luckily, Candy's BFF Janet has a wicked plan; a six pack of unusual, kinky lovers for Candy to try. Can Candy find a life partner in just a week? Or will all of the unconventional sex wear her out before she can say, "I do"? Six & Candy by Melinda DuChampSee Candy sample them all! WHAT READERS ARE SAYING: "The funniest, sexiest smut ever written!" - Anonymous "The sexiest, funniest smut ever written!" - A different anonymous, probably "All the love scenes made me out of breath and sweaty." - A reader having a heart attack "Are these quotes made up?" - Yes "I wrote this book." - Melinda DuChamp "Does anyone read these quotes?" - A curious reader "I read them." - A woman who reads these quotes "Melinda DuChamp is my hero!" - A man that Melinda DuChamp saved from a burning building "This book is funny. This book is hot. This book cures diabetes." - A reader who got 2 out of 3 right "If you only read one book this year, you aren't reading enough." - Someone who wants you to read more "I never ate paste when I was a kid." - A paste-eating liar So what are you waiting for? Read this book immediately!