Bøker av Hal Johnson

Nerdy, prudish Oscar Cox has bragged to one too many people about his fantasy life as international playboy and all around man of mystery-and now his T.A. union wants to hire him to assassinate some sap of an undergrad. If that's not bad enough, perhaps the T.A. union is operating under the command of sinister shadowy forces from three thousand years ago. How are you going to math your way out of this one, Oscar?A Pynchonian comedy, a paranoid thriller, a northeastern Confederacy of Dunces-this book is also both a collection of penis jokes the only accurate surviving record of what life was like in New York City in 2003.

Congratulations on your acceptance to the Apprentice Academy, one of the world's finest institutions for knightly education. Your course of study here will prepare you for a career as a knight, samurai, Viking, or really any type of sword-swinging warrior. Swinging a sword is inherently dangerous, but this guide will help you complete your education while minimizing the twin risks of 1. getting maimed and 2. working too hard.Learn how to:. Fight people!. Fight dragons!. Fight monsters!. Fight everything else!. Die honorably!. And more!Please follow all instructions carefully. If you go off on your own and try something silly, and then get your head chopped off of your body bitten in two, don't start drafting a letter of complaint. You had fair warning.

For readers who have always wanted to enroll in a school for magic--be it Hogwarts with Harry Potter or Camp Halfblood with Percy Jackson! Wizard lovers will delight in pretending they're learning magic from a cheat-sheet handbook from an elite school for sorcery.Welcome to the Apprentice Academy. Congratulations on your acceptance to one of the world's finest institutions for sorcery. Your course of study here will be long and perilous, but this book of sorcery skills and fascinating tales from the world of magic will help you along the way-ideally with all your limbs and wits intact.Learn how to:· Read minds!· Prophesize!· Perform a love spell!· Choose an animal familiar!· Turn anything into gold!· Summon demons!· Find a lair!· And more!But most of all learn to cheat, or, rather, to weasel through without actually cheating.Please follow all instructions carefully, as one wrong move can transform your hands into forks or serpents, and then you will have a hard time turning the page.Inspired by folklore and mythology around the world, Apprentice Academy: Sorcerers is a rich, multicultural exploration and celebration of magic from not just Europe, but also from Africa, Asia, the Middle East, and the Americas. Narrated by a witty and weaseling character who supplies cheat sheets to students, Apprentice Academy opens the door on an exciting new world of magic and myth, chivalry and royalty, with the second book in the series-Knights-scheduled for Spring 2024.