Bøker av Black Patrick

7XI is named after a convenience store. Black Patrick is enamored with her hair. Things go sideways in a hurry when 7XI moves to Ensenada and breathes new life into donkey show culture. Stranger things have happened.Experience a version of reality completely different from your version of reality with Black Patrick, Wilson, Felix/Felicia, Billthy Animal, Carlito Bandito, Ivy, 7XI, and most of the donkeys in Baja California. To name but a few. For the children. The Rose Parade will never be the same. Probably because of all the hookers Taz brought in from Melbourne.Watch all the cool people decamp to Shibuya in search of new varieties of farm animal to enjoy. Not every record store in Tokyo celebrates Taco Tuesday the same way Honker does. You might want to think about building a doomsday bunker in Minnesota.In the end, many died. More were wounded. Some have yet to process the trauma. Few escaped unscathed. Without the fine folks of Nan Madol, where natives remain restless and afraid of mariachi bands, history would be much different.A Taste of Something Else. Your portal to euphoria. Ride the inspiration.

Only one man could build an empire and amass a fortune selling water to dogs-The Confident Man. Top Dog.Leave it to Black Patrick and his sidekick, Elmo, to turn a wholesome pet products manufacturer into a vehicle for civil disobedience, subversive political activity, and drug smuggling to dollar stores all over rural America. With a little help from the ghost of the Unabomber. Vending machine magnate Max and his used underwear-selling punk rock girlfriend, Pinkie, learn the hard way about personal assistant/toast connoisseur Carlito Bandito's side hustle keistering porcelain figurines, action figures, and live animals. Survivors. Follow this crew of survivors whose ability to withstand murder attempts in drug and alcohol rehabilitation facilities, suicide attempts, and disastrous visits to the Sizzler salad bar, remain amongst humankind's greatest achievements. Laissez les bons temps rouler.

Volcano House: The NovelWhat happens when two underachieving taco truck operators join forces with a couple of fashion designers and identical twin supermodels? A lot of weird stuff. Join Black Patrick, Carlito Bandito, and Wild Man as they are led into the jaws of a shark. You'll meet the evil toucan, Igor, who gaslights his owner, Ali, like a semi-attractive, middle-aged, one-eyed Vietcong hooker manipulates the manager of her senior housing complex. Read at your own risk. You will be outraged, offended, and, frequently, shaken to your empty core by the antics of this crew of degenerates. Based on a true story or two.

The Panama Canal is drying up and you still believe we live on a planet where your grandchildren will have grandchildren. Wake up. Black Patrick's The Sound of an Enormous Door follows a small group of unlikely individualists beyond our imminent extinction. You were not warned. You were not told, they were never going to tell you. By the time you found out it was too late. All those you expected to help were long gone. The mass scattering of humanity followed no pattern. People simply went away. Some died in unspeakable ways. Save for a very few, everyone remaining - your family members, loved ones, friends, neighbors, and all of the others in places known and unknown - starved to death. You were told every day of your life to do everything you could do to avoid the inevitable pain, suffering and death. Nobody in your social circles wanted to discuss uncomfortable topics. Your imminent murder by an organized criminal enterprise, for example. At the same time, you were systematically lied to, threatened, cheated and deceived. You chose to believe that which reinforced your personal belief system, political inclinations and perceived status in society. You made decisions based on past patterns, immediate desires, and delusions of a future that never arrived. Your unassailable beliefs and holy wisdom didn't save you from reality. The narrow sliver of ideology you believed better than everything else ended up dead like everything else.