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The prize possession of former football hero, part-time media personality and full-time blowhard BJ Baker has been stolen from his palatial Palm Beach home. Baker has called in the Mayor, the police, the sheriff and everyone else he can co-opt into the search. But if he really wants the person who can find it, one name keeps coming up. Miami Jones. Problem is, he can't stand Jones. And the feeling is mutual. Miami takes on a jealous husband, a feisty ex-con and a police detective desperate to claim everyone else's 15 minutes of fame, and he finds that Florida is home to so many retired athletes he could start a pensioner football league. But can Miami hunt down the culprit before they graduate from theft to something far more deadly?